I feel like I am falling apart

Lately it feels like every problem is weighing on me and nothing seems to go right. I don't usually write on Reddit, but I am really desperate. I want to be a writer and I've written a 30 chapter story that I am correcting every day but nothing seems right and I'm sick of going through everything over and over again. On top of that, my dad's going to retire in a few months and it seems like I'm on a clock and I'm not even halfway through. I find it really hard to communicate with those around me and I can't express myself the way I want or voice my problems. I hate eating and when I am with my brother, he want me to eat whatever they have around (out of affection). I can't tell them that I don't want to eat or drink without completely shutting down. I feel anxious 24/7 and I can't handle it. it feels like it's breaking me. I feel cornered or like I am but a prisoner both in my mind and at home. I feel useless, being at home, unemployed for years now, chasing a dream that seems to be impossible to reach with our financial situation. It feels like I have no free will, that I'm just a puppet and that I have no control over anything. I am trapped and I can't get out.