Is attraction across a two or three year age gap as a teenager abnormal?
I am not asking about acting on it. You can feel attraction and not act on it. I'm just thinking about the attraction itself. I do not believe it should be acted upon whatsoever.
A gap of three years is massive in teenagers despite it being pretty small for, say, a 30 and 33 year old. The years are developmentally dense but, socially, it still feels pretty close. As someone behind in puberty, I feel physically more similar to a 15 year old which makes them feel more relatable sometimes.
But is the attraction across those years itself bad? We are assuming there is no intent to act on those feelings at all here. Just butterfly feelings, acknowledgement that there is a big developmental imbalance, and willingness to set very very harsh boundaries if need be.
I just haven't seen this discussed anywhere. I know there have been talks about age gaps in teen relationships, but not about just the attraction itself alone.
It makes me feel really weird at times, even though I absolutely would not persue anything. I would shut anything more than friends down too. But I don't know, is it abnormal?
Posted Jan 8, 2026, 11:55 PM UTC