Is everything over?

I don't think I can be a good person anymore. These thoughts have gotten so disgusting and sickening with POCD that I want to die. I can never ever ever ever rid the guilt. The medication they gave me only makes me shake and sweat harder. I can't even go to class because of the thoughts. If my family and friends knew the content of them they'd be beyond repulsed. I wish this had never happened to me, I don't see a way to forgive myself