Telling a gay friend of 5 years that I'm attracted to him and want to try dating
I recently have discovered I’m attracted to a friend of mine (he’s also gay). We’ve been acquaintances for 5 years, but in the past year we’ve hung out a lot more, are in a book club together, share the same friends, have the same taste in movies/tv, etc. I’ve never really considered being intimate with him, and was more just happy to have another gay friend with the same interests. Recently I was talking to a different friend about being single, and she said “why don’t you and X try dating?”. I was surprised by the question, but the more I thought about it the more it made sense. I do find him attractive, we are sexually compatible (based on talks with other gays about sex), he’s also single and looking for a relationship, etc. Now for the past few weeks it’s all I’ve been thinking about. At a party recently I couldn’t take my eyes off him.
I want to try and see if he’s ever thought the same but have no idea how to approach it. My worst nightmare is that he doesn’t share the same feelings, gets uncomfortable, and then our friendship is impacted. Just looking for similar stories and how you approached the situation.
Posted Jan 9, 2026, 12:03 AM UTC