I totally get it. You want to try out this whole record thing, but you're in college, or work the kinds of jobs that most of us work, not making enough money, trying to support a family, finally got that sweet loft in Williamsburg and the rent is a crusher. You love music, love love love it, and people that play records sure seem to talk a lot about having records, and you want in. The problem is, though, you're on a budget. You've heard that there are good record players and bad record players, and you can buy them used and you can buy them new, but you don't know what to do. There's a lot of options! Well, we're here to help. Behold:

u/minimumrockandroll has a guide to buying a cheapo turntable that isn't too sucky

It's not actually that bad.

1. Decide whether you want to buy a new table or a used table.
   • Pros of new tables:
     • They're less likely to crap out on you at any given time, since the parts are new
     • They tend to look sleeker and cooler, all piano-black finishes and IKEA-minimal design

• cons of new tables:
  • They cost $$$
  • You can likely get better business on a used table than you can a new one

For new tables, the standard advices is to stay away from the all-in-one players, the portable players, or anything that comes with their own speakers. These tend to be sold at Targets and Urban Outfitters and have names like Crosley and look fake-old-timey. The problem with these is that in an effort to get the price point to the all-important sub-$100 range, they skimp on the goods. Shitty wobbly motors, and a simplistic tonearm. Fancy tonearms have all kinds of little adjustments you can make (see the sidebar) to ensure that your records don't skip so much, sound good, and don't get ruined by the friction-hot sharp diamond that is racing across the surface of the soft vinyl over thirty three times per minute. Crappy tonearms sacrifice the good sound and the little adjustments for making sure the table tracks decently. This happens by mashing the little, cheap needle down hard on the record. This ain't good. If you play a record a few times, it's likely to make a difference, but if you absolutely love love love your 101 Strings record your grampa gave you, it's gonna wear out. Besides, the little tinny speakers your faux-wood panelled all-in-wonder came with won't do music justice. You want a record player: it should sound good!

Enter the stand alone record player. About the cheapest you can do and have it be okay is (and don't quote me, the reviews aren't necessarily in yet), the $180 U-Turn Orbit. For about hundred more, you can get a Pro-Ject Debut, which people seem to be stoked on. In the middle is the Audio Technica LP120, a decent 1200 clone. I'd stay away from the LP60. These are all cool choices: The LP120 is direct drive (the motor is magnetically coupled directly to the platter that spins 'round), and the others are belt drive (the motor is attached to a rubber band that is attached to an axle that is attached to the platter that spins 'round). Smug audiophiles like to debate the pros and cons of each. Don't listen to them. Both are fine ways to get a platter to turn around 33.3 times per minute. It doesn't matter. If you're considering ruining your records DJing them, go direct drive: they spin up faster. Otherwise, give no fucks.

Now, if you want to get a used table, it gets a little tricker.

• Pros of used tables:
  • CHEEPNESS.
  • Getting a higher quality table than that schmuck that sprung for a new one
  • Cool, retro wood veneers. Less Helvetica and more Cooper Black.
• Cons of used tables:
  • Having your table break down sooner than that schmuck that sprung for a new one
  • Possibly having to restore it to working condition
  • Having to go out and buy a new cartridge (always assume the needle it comes with, if it comes with one, is shot)
  • You can't, after that fifth beer, up and throw a credit card at Amazon.com to get one; you gotta hunt for it

So, the gist is I can't out and go "hey, get this one", because odds are that one isn't going to be at your thrift store or craigslist or local-ebay listing. So you need to have a set of general guidelines. Here they are:

At the very least, a decent used table should have:

• An adjustable counterweight knobby on the back of the tonearm

• A little anti-skate dial somewhere in the vicinity of the tonearm pivot

• A replacable cartridge. There are two kinds, "standard", where there's a little collar that you unscrew and the whole headshell pops out of the tonearm, and something called P-mount. Both of these work well (there are some P-mount haters, but as ever, don't believe the hype), but you've got more options with standard.

If you have these two things, you're already doing better than the Crosley. Other things to look for:

• Heaviness. Quality turntables tend to weigh a bit. With schmancy audiophile tables, this gets taken to extremes, but in general, the heavier, the better.

• Marks o' Quality. If a company took the time to burnish the metal, or make a wood plinth, or have it look like a UFO, or have it ooze an aura of stoutness and craftspersonship, odds are, the mechanism inside isn't a slouch. Conversely, if it's made out of black plastic and generally looks flimsy, let it be.

Now, the cost. Just like new tables, used tables can run from econo jamming budget rock to more-than-a-car-costs-ridiculous. I'm assuming if you're reading this that you're looking for the cheap. That's fine. The cheap is good. The cheap has a certain dignity to it that the ostentatious, the inaustere, does not.

Brands to look out for: Popular, quality brands have names like Technics, Dual, Thorens, Denon, Rega, Systemdek... it goes on. For the longest time, I heartily recommended the Technics SL-D2 as the go-to used super budget player. If you can find one for less than a hundred bucks, I still think it's a great deal. If you wanna stretch that hundred bucks out to three or four, you can get a Systemdek (Scottish turntables from the nineties) if you find one or the gold standard DJ table (and no slouch of a hifi deck), the Technics 1200mkII. By no means limit yourself to these, though. There are plenty of great tables out there. Look for heavy and adjustable, and you'll do fine.

After you get your used treasure home, you'll have to change the needle. God knows where it's been, after all! That, though, is another article.

Hope this helps a little. Last word of advice: try to stay away from eBay. Decent turntables weigh a bit. Shipping costs may negate the rad deal you're getting.