As a submissive male, I sometimes feel kinship with folks who are not "straight"

Hey, I hope this isn't a completely dumb thing to say. And maybe it doesn't translate to every sub male, and it's more so specific to me. Disclaimer: I'm not claiming that submissive males are somehow persecuted to the same extent as someone who is not "straight." It's more so about my lived experience and deviating from what is considered "normal."

I grew up in a really conservative, rural area. Doesn't take much imagination to picture the culture.

All of my life, I've always been a "soft" boy. I didn't realize that I was submissive until well in my 20s, but I've definitely had a submissive nature for longer just without realizing fully.

Well, where I grew up, men were only allowed to be powerful, dominant, and emotionless. And of course, when in Rome... so I tried to be like that. The thing is, I've never had interest in being dominant. I've never had interest in being assertive or controlling. I've always been more on the sensitive and caring side. I've never been very confident. I've also very, very rarely had the courage to approach a woman. This led to several disappointing and confusing sexual experiences where I myself had no idea what I liked or what was "different" about me.

Physically, I've been on the smaller side until my late 20s. Now I'm still small but a little bit bulkier. also, this doesn't matter much, but I'm pretty small in the dick department.

Most or all of these things typically were/are seen as unacceptable and would get you bullied or outcast by many people.

The thing is, I actually realized I like being small. I like being led, I like being told what to do . I don't like taking charge. I like being emotional/sensitive. I like catering to someone's needs and wants.

To this day, I feel like most people wouldn't accept me or take me seriously if they knew I was submissive. So I try to stay "in the closet" in that sense. I'm fortunate in the regard that it's very easy to keep this a secret for the most part. Although I'm sure plenty of people clock that I'm not exactly the most manly of men.