I have a strong aversion to men being confident or “dominant” in any way, and I don’t know why

I’m a woman, (21 yrs old). This may be weird, but I feel oddly lonely in my preferences and desires. In any sense, romantic or sexual, the idea of men being anything other than submissive or treating me like an equal disgusts me.

I don’t know why, it doesn’t matter if they’re doing it with being protective and good in mind, It just makes me feels like they see me as lower or not an equal. Maybe the jokes in society of guys, “bending”, you over or “breaking your back.” Have contributed to my feelings, because even if my friends have boyfriends who are sweet to them, but confident and “take control”. In the bedroom, (not even an aggressive sense) my immediate thought is “He doesn’t respect you one bit, he sees himself as above you.” And I hate it, because it feels disrespectful to both of them, I KNOW it’s not true. But it makes me so uncomfortable I just can’t stand it, especially stuff like oh he “flipped me over”, and so on and so forth.

I find cute, shy guys are like, the only thing I could ever be attracted to, but it’s so rare and even if they are that way normally, it’s not the case in the bedroom?? I think?? I have barely any experience, so this is all just hearsay, but is this normal? Does any other woman feel this way? I try to look up media with the dynamics I like or find posts detailing this experience, but I can never find any. Is there anyway to remedy those rude and judging thoughts? Please help.