Gay men, how did you really overcome internalized homophobia?

Hi, 18 (F) texting. I have a friend who confessed to me a few months ago that he’s gay, and I’m the only person he’s ever told. I want to know how I can help him stop hating himself.

I think it’s an important step that he chose to talk to at least one person about this, but he still doesn’t accept himself, and I know it eats at him every day. I recommended therapy, but he doesn’t want to go. I’m afraid to give him any LGBT literature because I don’t know if it would help him at all. He has a lot of internalized homophobia; he believes being gay is a “disease” that everyone should be treated for. He thinks in very stereotypical ways about gay men, and not in a positive light. He tends to assume almost every boy is gay because he stereotypes them. What hurts him the most is the thought that if it gets out that he’s gay, it will affect his career and people around him won’t see him the same, and that he’ll disappoint his mother by not having a traditional family.

I don’t judge him at all for the ideas that are hurting him; I know they come from constant social pressure and exposure to these concepts.

All I want is to know how I can truly help him stop hating himself, stop devaluing himself, and accept himself as normal.

I welcome any responses and questions, thank you.