AIO About cutting a friend from my life

TW: attempted rape, assault, self harm, mental health

Apologies for the long post.

I (33NB) had a friend (43F). We are very different personalities, she is someone who loves to party and often does drugs, gets drunk, goes out and haves fun and also doesn't quite believe in mental health. As in, she doesn't think it's something that can affect one's life unless you "let it". I'm the opposite. I'm quiet. I'm a nerd. I rarely go out for anything other than coffee, hiking or groceries. I also have anxiety, depression and PTSD. Coupled with a physical disability (my spine was damaged in a hit and run) I've been out of work for over a year, on disability. This is because my health was simply too bad and the doctors, my psychologist and psychiatrist, and the government deemed me unfit for work. In the last year she has made comments about "acting like a victim". As a result I've not talked to her as much as I had done in the past, simply because I didn't want to have to deal with some of what she says. When we did talk, I would keep the topic light, on things I know she liked - travelling (she loved holiday locations like Bali), her adventures she has while drunk, etc. I didn't want to cut her out simply because she views things different to me so I kept trying to communicate with her. I'd ask how she was, how her job was, etc.

Then, some months ago, I was feeling good about myself for a change and I decided to meet up with a guy I had met online and had chatted with for well over a year. To cut a long story short, he attacked me, bit me, and attempted to rape me. I managed to get away but I was very shaken up. I have very few female friends and I was in shock - I didn't know who to talk to. And then she messaged me, so I was like hey maybe I can ask her advice? I still hadn't fully processed what had just happened so I sent her a message saying "soo this has just happened, wtf do I do now?" I wasn't sure if I should contact the police because technically, I met him of my own free will and we had kissed and that was entirely consensual. So I thought it was my fault.

Well. Her response was that I was just overreacting and hey, men like to bite during sex, if you weren't so stuck up you'd have enjoyed it! And then proceeded to say I was selfish for focusing on my own life when she could be going through something too. She sent me this long message saying I was selfish, a narcissist and abuser like my brother (she knows full well my brother was physically abusive and once fractured my foot, among other things) who doesn't care about others and damn, why are you overreacting, if you report him you'll ruin his life over nothing!

If she had something going on in her life she didn't tell me. I'd asked earlier that same day how she was going, how's work, etc and she said work was fun, she'd just got a WFH setup, no mention of anything wrong. I kind of shut down after that, and for the first time in nearly 5 years, self harmed. I thought it was my fault, I felt violated, I didn't know what to do, if it was my fault or if I should go to the police and if it would even be worth it - we communicated on social media and the second I got away I saw he'd blocked me so I couldn't even show them his profile to find him or anything, and it would be a he said/she case - and she just destroyed what confidence I did have left. The next morning I finally replied saying "sorry I'm having trouble processing nearly being raped". Then I blocked her.

For the last few months I keep feeling bad for blocking her. I don't know if I was overreacting or not so I decided to come on here and ask people's opinions. My best mate - when I blurted the entire story out a week later (she's a nurse and works in a remote area so doesn't always have reception, or a long time to chat on the phone) - said that I needed to protect my peace and good riddance to someone who would diminish my experience, both with the assault but also my health. But I don't know, I keep feeling bad.