I just want someone to tell me it's gonna be okay.

I have spent the last 3 years taking care of my partner he has been through a lot and still has a a lot he is dealing with. From the lose of his dad to his on going struggles with being queer in the south. Anxiety depression BPD he is definitely dealing with a lot. We have been together for 4 years and I love him I loved him from the moment I saw him. But I am not okay anymore I have been dealing with a lot myself beside having to take care of him. In the first year of our relationship I realized a lot about myself. He helped me unlock who I really am I spent so much time pretending to be someone that the world around me would love. He helped me shed that I was able to start building who I wanted to be. This metamorphosis cost me everything from almost my entire family to every friend I thought I had. I am much happier with who I am now though I was able to start my transition and advocate for myself better with my Drs and even build a new and better relationship with my dad and step mother. The problem is as I get better he gets worse breakdowns are near every day now. He cries and screams says he wants to hurt himself it takes hours everyday to help him off that ledge. He has to take sleeping pills because if he wakes up and it's 2 or less hours untill his alarm he panics and gets angry and cries. We got an apartment together after our previous roommates fucked us over but we loved it got a tour secured within a week of looking but if there is a home issue (fallen shelf broken drawer) he will have a breakdown about how we live in a shitty apartment and he will never have a good home and he cries. If we have a long week at work he will breakdown about how he will only ever have shit jobs. If we have a short week then he will have a breakdown about how we will always be poor. He made his brother a gift basket and he left ion the car and it feel it scuffed the corner of the carse of the record he bought him and now he probably won't give him the gift. He cried saying he is a failure and it would be embarrassing to give it to him still. I just don't know what to do anymore j still live him with all my heart but it just is so fucking painful everyday. My health has been spiraling I cry all the time (not with him because if I do he will have a breakdown about not being able to help me). I spend a lot of time finding isolated places to let it out in. Alone in my car, in the shower with music playing, in the bathroom in public. I'm just tired of feeling alone in all this I just want to be comforted when I'm hurting even if it's just nice lies.