AITA for thinking to end up a relationship because our cats don’t get along?

My [38M] partner’s [34F] orange cat keeps abusing my cat, she acts soft about it and it’s been emotionally draining me

I’ve been in a relationship with this amazing girl for almost two years now. We were long-distance for about a year, and then I moved closer to her in June 2025. I have a Ragdoll cat who is now 1 year old, and she has an orange tabby who is 4 years old. Both cats were neutered when we introduced them. I had my cat fixed in July, and we did slow introductions, finishing around the end of September 2025.

The problem is that her cat completely changed after the introductions. He aggressively charges and swats at my cat at least once every hour, and it’s even worse when no one is watching. My cat is extremely sweet and never fights back, which honestly breaks my heart.

We installed a gate to separate the second floor from the first, and when things get bad, I’m usually the one who separates them and puts her cat upstairs. But she’s very soft with her cat and feels bad when he gets separated, so she rarely steps in unless I ask her to. It feels like I’m carrying most of the responsibility for managing this situation.

I’m getting really worn down by this. I love my cat so much, and seeing him get bullied constantly is mentally exhausting and gives me a lot of anxiety.

My girlfriend and I get along very well otherwise, but this has been an ongoing issue. I’ve thought about getting a cat behaviorist or trainer, but it’s expensive, and I don’t think she’s willing to contribute. For context, I go to therapy and she doesn’t, and sometimes I feel like I’m putting in more emotional effort in the relationship overall, even though she is very sweet and supportive in many ways.

I’ve told her many times how anxious and distressed this situation makes me. She does try, but the cat’s behavior hasn’t changed, and I’m starting to wonder if this is something I can realistically live with long-term or if it’s a sign that we may not be compatible in this area.

Is this fixable? Or would I be an asshole for wanting to end it?