My (45) husband said he feels he missed out on life for marrying me that young. And is now doubling the salary of his secretary . Is he cheating?

My husband, 46, is the executive manager in a company - mostly production based and this has become his personality. He wants all the power. I even asked him: you got to the top, what else you want? And he said: to go higher.

We have been married since I was 21 and he was 22. Now I am 45 and have 4 children, between toddler age and adult (18 years old) age

People are cutting us off. Many were working under him and resigned due to constant pressure. Before Christmas, in this part of Europe we have a tradition: The whole family takes part. We prepare pork meat for the whole year: make sausages and other activities.

Men are outside doing the "hard" work and women are in the kitchen cooking what they bring inside. It takes the whole day.

He doesn't wanna help. He was more fun 15 years ago. Relaxed. funny, joking with my brother, got his hands dirty. Was the first to get up in the morning at 4 am, had a glass of brandy and ready to go. This year he didn't even participate and said that he would rather go to the gym than get fat eating all day and talk to ... those people. He did come in the end and my brother was tipsy and left a blo-dy hand print on my husband's neat shirt. And he didn't like that at all. So in the end my brother called him an arrogant AH who ruins the fun...

he doubled the salary of his personal assistant. He said her mother died and she needed money. I would think it was the right thing to do, but he is not someone who cares.

He belittles our kids. He took away the benefits of his subalterns when took the function. In meetings he slightly shouts.

TL;DR: my husband is probably cheating with his secretary

He was always rigid, old school, intelligent, ambitious and with a hot temper on occasions (which I mostly liked about him. He would defend me). But now its worse. . My husband majored in manufacturing engineering and is good at math and physics and believes every guy should study something connected. So he pressured our son to go for a field like this

I am most worried about the assistant and how he referred to my family, as those people - Those people helped us when we were 21 and 22 and decided to get married. Also, before coming here I did ask him about his behaviour to me. He said he loves us all. But it sounded like something he knew he has to say. But also added that he feels he missed out on life. but 2 years ago because another manager became a father for the 4th time, he wanted to have another child so he can have 5, so more.