So mentally exhausting

35 m been HS for the majority of my life , always thinking or daydreaming as the days go by. Sometime its something simple like making out with a stranger in a park to full on dreaming of a orgy in your local grocery store. Obviously that's not how societies work, but its a constant in the back of my mind and its so exhausting i try and detract myself with different things but, my mind alway comes back to sex, vanilla to WTF. Im so exhausted trying to act normal but if ppl realy knew what i think about i would be up labeled a freak. I'm sorry if this post is alittle hard to read never been any good at writing anything.