Mom diagnosed with Stage IV Lung Cancer from Korea

My mom is currently in hospice in one hospital and will be moved to a bigger hospital on Wednesday for mutation type testing and future treatment. My aunts are in Korea and her friends here in the states who are helping her with a lot of logistics like health insurance and fixing up her house to sell since healthcare is a lot cheaper in Korea.

I’m anxious because I’m mostly supported by my chosen family here and have a more professional relationship with my mom. My chosen family has no idea how to support me. I told my sister who is pretty emotional and on some kind of neurodivergent spectrum last night and has been holding a grudge against me for the last 3 years after a small disagreement that got blown up into an outburst due to her emotional immaturity. I’m also not very close to my mom’s family and the reputation I hold is only according to my mom and my sister with the rest of the family.

The first thing my mom told me to do when she found out after us is to start a coinbase account lol. And to just stay strong. It looks like a lot of logistics are being handled by other “adults” (I’m 29, turning 30 this year) but I am anxious and not sure how to be supportive. I know that if she can be treated for an identifiable mutation she should be able to live a more normalized life eventually obviously with reoccurring health complications. They’re trying to convince my sister to start grad school in Korea as she’s expressed an interest previously, but I think I will have to reside in the states for work while visiting her occasionally.

I have cancelled all my social plans for this month and don’t know how to spend my time as I’ve been kind of framed as easily overwhelmed, though I’d beg to differ. I’m a cat sitter with meowtel and kept my mending class and animal shelter volunteering plans for self care for now. It feels wrong to continue with my life or engage in any social events normally knowing that my mom is suffering and we’re still not sure about how the next few weeks or months will go. I don’t even know if me being there is something they want or need any time soon. I’m really just doing a lot of research and distracting myself with doomscrolling in between receiving phone call updates from over there.

Is there anything else I can be doing to be a supportive input or should I just be staying quiet and out of the way? I am great at pretending like everything is okay to the point of people thinking I’m unaffected or don’t care but that’s not the case- I’ve just been conditioned to be private and distant due to historical interfamilial conflicts. I feel pain for my mom’s sudden onset of symptoms and just praying for the best results.