My life is spiraling right now

Hello im a 16M and everything is just God awful, Im in such a weird place like I came off a manic ep just a little bit ago but I still feel some of the symptoms like hypersexuality and stuff but im sleeping so idk whats going on. I feel so hopeless and numb Im not in a good place. Im not going to school- I cut out the 1 good friend that I had, Im to afraid to go and make friends because it seems that I attract chaos or something because every person I have ever called a friend either 1 leaves me 2 turns out to be a really bad person. Im just always in a bad state. I feel manic right now but yet not. Im on a med that puts me to sleep but I still feel hypersexual so much. I hate it.

I cant live my life I hate myself so much. I have no one. My parents make jokes about me being "crazy" same with my brother they all make me feel so bad they always yell at me for not doing anything like going out of the house or getting a job. Im trying so hard but yet that means nothing to them

And with the friendships any good people I get into my life I ruin it anyway. I just need some help. I just try to be nice and happy but it doesnt to work