35m, I identify as straight but have doubts..

Hi. At my age, I am still a virgin. I have a past of heavy social anxiety. But anyway. What makes me suffer, and can make people around me find it strange, is that I have rarely had a real desire to sleep with a woman. And yet, I take pleasure in going on dates with, kissing etc. I have had a few rare occasions (and found myself in the bed of a woman a few times), but I did not experience great arousal, in any case I am still a virgin. AND from a young age, I had an attraction to putting things in my ass. It, and I regularly during my masturbations, to imagine myself in the place of the woman, in an anal scene (but on a forum, a gay person replied to someone that if he wanted to embody the guy in a scene, it’s because he was gay. So I suppose that if I want to be the woman of the scene, that would mean that I appreciate her so much that I would like to be one for a moment?) And I know that I have already been very excited to awaken desire on gay men on cats. I am really lost.. when I read testimonies of men who discovered their sexuality, many knew it from a young age, and/or had experienced things for the body or behavior etc. of men around them or others. I also read that modern psychology refutes the possibility of unconscious repression, so for me I’m really not gay. In short, I would still like to know if some of you identify with my story, or if you have an opinion. And I specify, I have already registered on a gay app to try it out, but I can’t imagine myself being in a meeting at all, it doesn’t appeal to me (even if the idea of sex in the absolute doesn’t make me want to vomit). I hope my question doesn't seem disrespectful for sexual orientations