what the fuck am i doing with my life

im underweight, my life has no order, im an intellectually shallow person who has managed to find direction in life only by doing things that are in my comfort zone. at 18 years old i have still yet to start caring about my physical health or mental health for that matter. i have been floating throughout all of my life without a sense of a ground. the weight of existence is itself too heavy for me to carry

i need to greatly rethink and reorganize my life to not be such a fucking embarrassment of a human being