How do I teach my white child what slurs are?

I'm half Asian, my preteen child is white presenting.

I let my kid swear and i dont care about other peoples opinions on that aspect of my parenting. We've had many conversations about how and when swearing can be acceptable Not around grandparents, little kids, or at school. Basically know your audience and if you arent sure if it would be acceptable to swear in front of someone, don't. Not at people (you can say 'fuck' when you make a big mistake, but its not ok to say 'fuck you' to someone you are mad at). Know what the word means and use the correctly and stuff like that. We've also discussed that its never okay to use a slur and that slurs are mean words that are meant to dehumanize someone based on who they are. That I've been called slurs as an Asian person, and so has her grandparents and they are hurtful in a way I cant fully describe.

Recently, she was singing a song from Hamilton at school during some free time. "How does a bastard, orphan, son of a 'lady' " ( because she knows 'whore' is a bad word) and got in trouble for saying "bastard." She was genuinely surprised that it was a swear. She knew it wasnt a kind thing to call someone, and knew that it meant a child born out of wedlock, but didn't realize it was a swear. She thought it was more akin to using "idiot" as a insult than "bitch." Its not a swear often used in our household, Hamilton is really her only exposure to the word.

It made me wonder what other words she didnt know. We sat down and i asked her if she knew any slurs and she says she doesn't. She know that the n-word is a slur that she cant ever use but Black people sometimes can, but she doesn’t know what the actual word is. She asked me what the word actually was and I couldnt say the word in that moment as it just felt so wrong for me to say. I told her I need to think about how to have the rest of this conversation and we moved on.

How do I teach her what words she shouldn't ever use? Do I give her a list of words? Do I just let her figure out what they are organically? Do I just teach her the ones shes most likely to hear? I'm scared of her singing a song with the N-word in it in public and not realizing that its THE n-word. Its not currently often used in music she tends to listen to so I didnt have a song that she would know that has it but shes growing and I know her world is growing too.

I wish parenting came with a guidebook and welcome opinions on how to handle this.