The First Date Never Even Started… and That Was the Red Flag 🚩

Title: Saw the red flag early and walked away 🚩

I wanted to share a situation that reinforced why I trust my instincts now. A friend of mine (56M, let’s call him Gene) recently reconnected with a woman he had known in the past but never dated. They started talking again, things seemed promising, and they decided to go on a date.

They agreed to meet at 5:00 p.m. on a Saturday. Around that time, she called and said she’d be about 15 minutes late. Fine. After about 20 minutes, Gene called to check in, and she said she was still running late because of weather and traffic. At that point, Gene told her he was going to leave. She immediately responded that she didn’t like his “tone.” He said he didn’t have a tone, but he also wasn’t going to keep waiting. There was no apology from her for being late, no acknowledgment of his time, and no effort to reset the situation. He left, and they never spoke again.

To me, the red flag wasn’t even the lateness—it was the instant defensiveness and shift to criticizing how he spoke instead of addressing the situation itself. No accountability, no “I’m sorry,” just conflict before the first date even started. Gene saw it for what it was and walked away early. Honestly, that felt like a win. Sometimes leaving at the first red flag saves you from a whole parade of them later.