Broke up with gf. Would like reddits advice please (M36) (CA)

Broke up with my gf of a year and a half. I’ve never loved someone as much as her. We were friends for a long time before and it fizzled into a relationship. I moved in very quick and became obsessed. As the year and a half progressed she has very controlling behaviors, ocd, negative a lot, and a daily drinker. I slowly lost myself and my voice in the relationship, I am a very go with the flow person and she is a very this is how it’s going to go person. I feel like I had so spine. I am a horrible communicator and scared of confrontation. So things would mostly just get shrugged off I was such at a loss and I kept getting worse and worse. So I broke it off finally. She didn’t really expect it, she’s heartbroken. I’m heartbroken. I miss her and I miss my dog. I moved out a week after because she wanted me to just stay somewhere else for a bit before making a rash decision. But with how bad we both are and both down very badly I knew leaving for a little bit wouldn’t work. So I moved out. My friend hooked me up with a friend of hers. It happened like the next day. We talked every day and ended up having drunk after the bar sex 2.5 weeks after the breakup. It lasted about another week and then I spiraled and thought what in the hell am I doing. I don’t want this. I am so in a loss for words as to why I did this. I’ve never rebounded before. I think I loved her so much that I tried to get her out of my brain right away. I don’t know. I broke it off with the girl after a little shy of a month. Nothing was serious. We hung out 5 times, hooked up twice. After the second hookup I was sober and really realized how not ok I was. I’m going to the gym, I’m doing therapy; I’m doing all the things. I still love my ex. She still loves me. I’m going no contact as best as I can, we still have small things to work out here and there but when that happens I nip it in the butt and only talk business and get off the phone with her. She has offered Fwb, I said no I can’t handle that, she wants to be friends, she hopes that I can be her friend still. I essentially told her that can’t happen right now while I’m in a space fixing myself I’m very pit in my stomach right now and guilt ridden. I didn’t do anything wrong. But I just feel like I did. It’s rough, and in the back of my head now I’m hoping that she works on her things. And I work on my things and then some reconciliation will come about down the line possibly. Obviously if anything ever happened again I would tell her that I got with someone. Is that toxic of me; or what. Just would like some input on that please. I’m sitting here at work typing this and just trying to get some sense with it.