30M unmarried confused between startup dreams, my ex 27F, and marriage pressure

Hi everyone,

My situation is a bit complicated, so I’ll try to explain it in a simple way. I’ve hidden some details to protect privacy.

I’m 30 years old man unmarried, and living alone in Bengaluru. A few months ago, I quit my job because I felt I had enough savings and assets to take risks. I believed this is the right time to work on my dream of building something of my own. I have been working on this dream since my college days.

Around that time, I met a girl (26 F) at work. She was the first girl in my life. We got very close within a couple of months, and I started seeing her as my future life partner. I’m from North India and she is from South India. After the breakup, I was left very confused, and even now I am not fully clear about the exact reason behind it.

After we separated, I went into depression and had health issues. It took me about two months to feel normal again, with the support of my friends.

Later, I started searching for a job, while also working on my startup in parallel. I got a very good job offer. But one day before joining, I declined it. I felt confused and couldn’t answer these questions: Why am I joining this job? For whom? And for what?

Right now, I am living normally and focusing on my dream. But sometimes I lose patience and get emotionally confused.

I don’t have my father, and my mother is living separately. Because of this, I depend on my relatives for marriage matters. They are looking for a match for me, but in a very slow and passive way.

Right now, I feel stuck:

• Fully focus on my dream and let my family handle my marriage.

• Try again with the same girl despite multiple rejections. When I look at our past, I feel she may never agree, and this creates a lot of confusion for me.

• Search for a job again, then focus on marriage, and pause my dream for the next couple of years.

I keep overthinking and going back and forth between my dream and marriage. I don’t know which path is right for me.

I’m looking for honest advice from people here who may have gone through similar situations.