Grieving the life I thought I’d have I’m just full of anger and hopelessness

I developed chronic pain following an injury to my legs a year ago and I still am unable to sit down. I worked so hard last year to finish uni, I sold my house ready to go to Bali in august to do my yoga teacher training ad emigrate to Australia to work in my trained profession. Well the yoga got cancelled, im back at my mums house at age 29 and no further on pain wise.

I’m back working as a barista as I can’t get a job in my profession - hello nhs job scarcity 🥲 and have had to give up the yoga teacher journey.

To make things feel worse I found out today my ex is in Australia after emigrating and living with his new gf. It’s good to see him doing well (he was in recovery from drug addiction when we were together) but I got very hurt during that time and just feel frustrated he’s living my dream. In fact I keep looking at everyone around me living and doing the things I longed to do.

I haven’t had an easy life (I had anorexia when I was 17, was admitted to hospital for 8 months and lost all my friends, my dad passed away a couple years later, I went through SA by a stranger and then watched my grandma pass away. I was diagnosed with cptsd a year ago and worked so hard to find ways of coping - yoga being a big part of this hence wanting to teach. But yoga hurts me now. I just keep thinking fucking hell like when is it going to lighten up a bit? I don’t want to get trapped in this city I live in, I wanted to explore the world. I have no friends here, no partner, nothing - I just feel completely lost, alone and afraid in all honesty and just grieving everything because I’m not me anymore.