Relationship advice: Is this normal longterm complacency, or emotional disengagement?

My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years. He’s my first relationship. Both mid 20’s.

Over the past year, I’ve felt him becoming increasingly complacent and low effort, but I’m struggling to tell whether this is just the “boring” stage of a longterm relationship or something more concerning.

I moved 80 miles away for university last year, so we’re long distance during term time but spend holidays together. Last year he visited me regularly at uni (every few weeks). This year he only visited once during an 11 week semester. I was the one travelling back every couple of weeks, often fitting around his work schedule and sacrificing uni time. When I raised this, he said he didn’t see the issue as long as we were still seeing each other.

I’ve been home for the Christmas holidays for the last month and go back to uni next weekend. Despite the limited time, effort still feels low. He sometimes suggests things like cooking together or watching a film, but it often feels like he’s doing it to keep me happy rather than because he genuinely wants to.

When I stay over, he often plays video games until the early hours and only comes to bed once I’m clearly exhausted or already asleep. Intimacy has been minimal.

He’s also very passive with plans and invitations, if I ask to stay over, he usually replies with “up to you” or “you can stay if you want.” He’s said before that he expects me to just stay if I want and doesn’t feel the need to invite me, but this leaves me feeling unwanted rather than relaxed.

We’re going on a day trip tomorrow, and instead of inviting me to stay over (which would normally be expected), he asked what time I was coming over so we could leave. When I asked if I was staying tomorrow night, I again got “up to you.” I just get the impression he is genuinely not fussed which I find odd considering we will be long distance again in 10 days.

I’m trying to work out whether I’m being overly sensitive due to long distance anxiety, or whether this reflects a genuine lack of emotional initiative and effort. Any outside perspective would really help.