It's been a year since I left her.

It's been exactly one year since I left her.

And even though I'm still realizing how awful that relationship was and how trapped I was, it was the best decision I made during those three years together. To my 3-year-old self: Don't doubt yourself, what you feel, your feelings. She'll try to manipulate your perception of things; you're far from crazy. Every little thing she criticizes you for, take a step back, and please, dare to tell her how she's creating a reality for herself. Never let her insult and belittle you. She's not above you, and those traumas JUSTIFY NOTHING. Know that just because she apologizes doesn't mean she'll stop, just because she tells me for an hour that she understands exactly how toxic she is doesn't mean she'll stop. It's a way of manipulating you. You're not at fault, even if she wishes you would think so. You've always done your best, and even after the breakup, she'll try to find increasingly outlandish reasons for her abuse. Don't give in to the suicide threats, stop blaming yourself for her emotions. Stop taking everything on your shoulders. And please, talk to your friends. Tell them everything you're going through in every detail. Thank you to my former self for leaving. It was the best thing that ever happened to me.

And obviously, this message is also for all the people who can't find the strength to leave, who have doubts, who think they're abusing the system. You're not abusing the system; trust your feelings. Your boundaries are not a minor detail. Leave.