Husband referred to watching porn almost every night as benign and common

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He's convinced I only have an issue with it because of my history because I mentioned that as one of the reasons and he has no interest in hearing all of the other reasons. (My ex cheated multiple times and engaged in secret online sexual activity.)

He's continued the behavior for 4 months since we last discussed it. We had a follow up convo a week ago where he dismissed and practically belittled my feelings. And last night we spoke again and he referred to what he does as benign and common.

So it's become clear that he's continued doing his nightly porn/masturbation routine, in the exact same way (knowing it is obvious to me) because apparently my having anxiety and insomnia because of it isn't his fault since in his mind my issue is about my "history" and not what he's doing.

Even if my only issue with it WAS because of past trauma, that should still be enough reason to have empathy and consider my feelings.

It is hard for me to understand how someone who can otherwise be a kind person is so cruel and lacking in empathy about this.

Posted Jan 14, 2026, 12:01 AM UTC

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