I Just Miss Talking To Her

The check ups, the random calls and the funny reels we shared. It's no more now and it feels empty, it's supposed to feel empty and I will not rush to fill this void with something lesser. But oh boy does this feel weird, sad, lonely. It's a long climb to the top and I'm still so far down at the bottom, constantly feeling like I'm at square one.

I'm so self aware of how I'm reacting and feeling but that doesn't mean it's any easier. Will I heal? Yes but that doesn't mean I will get better any faster.

It's like if I had the flu, I know I will get better my throat will stop hurting and my nose will unblock and the headaches will fade. I know one day I will be free of this illness but right now I'm in it, going through all the bad parts.

My heart will love again and today it starts by loving myself and to you, my sweet reader. Please love yourself too, take care and eat clean, sleep as best as you can but if it all piles up. Eat that ice cream! Stay Up late! But never ever give up or surrender okay? I promise you that things will be okay.

I sound like I have it all figured out there don't I? Nope I'm just as lost as you. I just have the curse of thinking I know a damn thing when in reality. This is my first breakup, first heartbreak. I am so alone and upset.

It's currently 12:02 am and I can't sleep. I might play some PS5 Helldivers 2. For Super Earth and Managed Democracy.

Goodnight everyone