Western Muslimah tells us that using the word obey in the context of an islamic marriage is solely equatable to full obedience equivalent to Allah and obey solely entails that if he tells you to jump off a cliff you must obey him and mentions how some people wholeheartedly believe this and that this word gives women no autonomy and no authority for women.
She then mentions men are the caretakers (despite the majority of the mufassirun translated as men are in charge of women). She seems to acknowledges wives to a degree have to follow (though she liked a comment which mentions the word obey in Arabic doesn't exist it actually means respect work that one out) and mentioned it's like if if he request to remove a guy on snap she should do it not because it's contingent upon responsibility or duty but solely due to respect and love (I'm sure that idealistic sunshine and rainbows framework will always work when real problems happen) and that the man should do the same essentially promoting a partnership framework in context of men's authority in short there is no obeying the husband there is partnership l'm sure this is not solely to undermine or reject men's “authority" that comes from there responsibilities im sure this is not the case and this should mean women folllow this partnership framework for men’s role also and it's not so they can enjoy the entitlements of a feminist and the privileges of women in an Islamic marriage. Despite Allah, the prophet and the mufassirun praising women for there obedience to there husbands using this specific word. She lastly mentions that this word is dehumanising derogatory and ends it with saying men who know the deen and are emotionally intelligent would not say to there wives to cook and clean. Thoughts?

Westernised Feminist Muslim trying to dilute Islamic Framework for Marriage