Sexuality atracts me and scares me

As a young woman around my twenty's who's never had intercourse, I have mixed feelings about sexuality, it excites me, but only if the action and desire comes from me and it's in very specific settings, the idea of penetration scares me and repels me, and I don't know how to think about it at all, the idea of someone else desiring me, or forcing themselves and their wants on me, makes me extremely uncomfortable.

Basically, I have no idea how to act on my sexuality as it makes me feel like a selfish partner

I just wish to understand myself better and have the opinion of a few more experienced people.