Why are they so obsessed with me and my hair???

I don't understand why my family is so fucking obsessed with my hair. Especially my mom and aunt. Every time I cut my hair, they are so mad and gives me a lecture on how I was raised in a Bengali Muslim family. How I am not American so I can't dress like boys. And how it is not allowed in Islam. Then they talk about the people. And how they are gonna talk badly about us. They are so obsessed with the perfect family image. They always talk behind people's back and think they are the morally better individuals.

I just don't understand why they are so obsessed with everything I do from what I wear to where I go. They want to control me so bad. I don't feel respected as a human being. And their reason for everything is always religion and culture. So I grew to not like my religion and culture. If I say that to people they think I am the weirdo for not liking my people.

They always nag me and tell me how I don't talk to them and how I should think about my family. Make sacrifices because they love me so much blah blah blah. I have to hear how disappointed they are in me and how I am not normal. This is so frustrating. I told them I had depression in high school and they were like yeah we knew. And they still treated me this way.

I tried talking to them so many times. They always pretend to listen but at the end we are always back where we started. I don't think they will ever change. I know my mom went through shits growing up and has a lot of trauma. I feel bad for her and I can't hate her. I would not want to be in her position. But at the same time I want freedom and respect. I am not perfect and I have my own issues that I am working on. I didn't want them to change their values for me. I just wanted them to stop controlling me and acknowledge that they are not always right.

I am afraid that they will force me into an arrange marriage once I graduate from college. I am 100% sure this will happen and it will ruin my mental health and my whole life.

I wonder if the problem is me and not them. Everyone around me seems to have good relationships with their parents and I am so jealous