This is hell

Ironically I see suicidal people ask if they are going to hell when they die... THIS IS HELL. You are already here. But thats not me saying people should do it.

Every damn medication i try, does absolute nothing but give side effects. Some of it numbs me little which is nice (but even thats fails at times) and leaves you feeling like a lobotomy was just done.

There is no escape to this hell. It really is the perfect hell. If I KMS I traumatize my parents and brother for life. If I stay alive i am tortured every day by my own mind and reality itself. There is nothing to look forward to because no one gives a fuck about me and never will, unless I become hot or successful or magically develop some comedic personality that all these normies talk about.

And dont even get me started on when my parents die. I'm only on disability for a few years, no idea if they'll accept me back on it. And its not even enough to afford rent in the shittiest place.

I hope the aliens come and throw all the politicans into fucking garbage bins. throw them on the streets and make them know what its like to have to eat out of garbage cans. Send them to a pysch ward that doesn't even offer therapy to people in there. Force them to have some empathy for people. But they won't. Aliens probably don't give af about us, our they are farming us for our negative energy like in monsters INC. Thats my theory.

But yea, this is hell. Heaven for some people, which makes it even more like hell!

Done with this talk. I don't even know why I vent on reddit, half the times i recieve stupid normie advice which is funny. Less of that here though.