Our good boy left behind so many admirers

We lost our good boy, Logan, late Saturday night at the emergency vet. He was 8 years old and had been suffering from epilepsy for the past 5 years. We had him on phenobarbital for the past 3 years and had to increase his dose last year which seemed to help keep seizures mostly at bay. His last seizure was 6 months ago which is really good.

Well starting around xmas, we started to notice that he wasn't eating all of his food. We thought he was protesting it as we had switched foods in early December. Then around New Years, we came home to a pee puddle which we thought was odd. In the 6 years he was with us, he never had an accident in the house unless he was having a seizure. A few more days passed, we noticed he was drinking more water. I brought it up to my husband that something was off. We scheduled an appointment with his neurologist for this week.

Saturday morning we were woken by loud claw sounds and went to check if he was ok as we didn't know if he was having a seizure. Our young daughter was still asleep. But we found a large pee puddle on the guest room rug. The pee was a dark yellow color. I took him for a walk with his pup sister and watched him closely. Sure enough, he peed another large amount that was a thick dark yellow. It was also raining and he could not drink enough puddle water. My sister reached out to a vet friend to see what she thought and she encouraged us to get him checked out urgently. I googled and found that it was indication of either liver or kidney issues or dehydration. I looked at his eyes and they were turning yellow. I took him to the ER vet and they immediately took him back. The vet came in the room with this look of disappointment. I could tell she was going to give me bad news. Our boy was extremely jaundice that pointed to potential liver damage. She did a sonogram and found that his gall bladder was obstructed with an irregular liver. Gall bladder surgery was estimated around $8K-$10K. Plus hospitalization before and after. It just wasn't something we could afford. She point blank told me that this surgery had a high chance of complications and that it would be humane to let him go considering his state. I cried so hard. Thinking about my toddler losing her best friend and the rest of us losing our good boy. It just didn't seem fair. We never have enough time with them!

We let him go that night and I literally wailed. Thinking back it reminded me of when Cedric Diggory's dad wailed over his body in the Goblet of Fire. I made the vet cry too. We rescued this good boy from a puppy mill when he was 2 years old and taught him how to eat and drink out of bowls, how to play with toys, how to walk with a harness and just enjoy life as a family dog. We loved him so deeply like a son. My 17 month old daughter would look for him every morning and snuggle him and share snacks and toys with him. 3 days later and she still looks for him saying "my wow wow!" She comes upon his empty bed. Oh man this is so hard!

We've lost 4 cats in the time we have been together, and those always hurt. But boy the loss of this guy has felt so deep. I guess because it affects my daughter too and I can't quite explain to her where he went. Tonight I showed her a video of him and told her that he got sick and she stared at it and then said "No". She tried to touch the screen to turn it off. I can only assume she understood what I said.

After some reading today, I found that phenobarbital has been linked to increased issues of gallbladder obstruction in some patients. While it's sad to know that the drug that was helping his main issue (epilepsy) was also causing him serious damage to other important organs, I know he wouldn't have been with us for the 6 years we were lucky enough to have him in our lifes if we would have had him on a different drug. We tried several other anticonvulsant meds and this one worked the best. The average lifespan for a dog that has idiopathic epilepsy with cluster seizures is 7-9 years. We met the average.

He is so incredibly missed by everyone including our friends and family. Still can't believe it. Our other dog still looks for him too. It's just so hard. Thanks for reading if you got this far just needed to let it out.