Doing the work but how do I bring back up "the talk"

Title sounds weird but its my (33F) first reddit post ever. I've been with my fiance (34HLM) for 11years. Similar story to most started hot and heavy then fell over (pretty quickly). For context we go through bouts of several times in a week to 3 months of nothing. 2025 we did it about 15-20 times. When we are in it, its so good I love it but on a regular basis its not happening much other than rubbing one out to sleep since he's usually up late working (we have veeeery different sleep schedules). We are a touchy couple, family & friends call us velcro lol. We are not very affectionate and initimate in other ways. The biggest issue is that I'm not an initiator and he has said he is done initiating all the time, and he hasn'tsince October. The last time of 2025 was November, I did initiate but I had to really pump myself up to do so, and felt very weird after. I do have some family SA history (he does NOT know) I restarted therapy about 3 months ago because I want to have this conversation and work to fix our DB prior to getting married.

Through therapy, self reflection, and a lot of research on sex and women's serial science I realize that I am a responsive desire type (probably stemming from the abuse). And I'm now ready to sit and have this long over due conversation. We're both working full time and in school part time so time feels like its never right or just not enough. Any advice to start this conversation and begin the work together to start to heal our DB prior to walking down the aisle?