From perfectionist to anxiety

I do martial arts and I used to be so full of confidence when it came to training and sparring. But it all changed a few months ago when my friends were curious about martial arts. I taught them the basics, the defense and some advanced footworks and techniques. But a sometime later, I noticed it all suddenly changed when I became so obsessed with perfecting the forms and techniques in every perspective. I would research more about the techniques and everything. To the point I’d stress out if there’s a video of me sparring and my form was imperfect there…

Now, this is where I suddenly started questioning myself… “Did I teach my friends the proper form correctly?” “What if I mistakenly taught them something wrong?”.

Looking at it, what I’m really worried about is my reputation, like what if my friend demonstrated something that I mistakenly taught them to someone who also does martial arts. The person might ask them where he learnt that incorrect move from and it will lead back to me.

That’s when I started to really overthink the things I taught them. To the point I’d ask them if I taught them this or that. Back then when I used to teach them, I was aware that if I mistakenly taught them something wrong, I’d get anxious of it… but months has passed and nothing bad seemed to happen yet.

Now, my friends never seemed to continue the martial arts journey but I can’t help but overthink what if I taught them something wrong.

What’s funny is… this anxiety just popped up around 1-2 months right after I taught them…

Now, I never had that same confidence I had ever again because of this anxiety.