Heated rivalry has made me question things…

I (23F) has identified as a lesbian for the past 4 years. genuinely the show made me question my sexuality… in these past four years I’ve tried and tried and tried. But it is just terrible to try and date as a late bloomer lesbian. I have let people know of my experience, which is none and every single time it’s like “uhh yeah let’s keep it that way”. It’s gotten to the point where I am just frustrated and I want to get virginity out of the way regardless of who it’s with. Now I have the option to go on a date with a man which I’ve actually never done before and I’m just confused about whether I should take that. I don’t know I guess there’s no right answer to this but I just feel like I’m crazy and a bit of a loser. Like even now I’m thinking well just cause Shane Hollander fucked Rose Landry doesn’t mean he was straight so I could do the same and it doesn’t mean I’m not a lesbian? (As long as I don’t like it) I guess I just kinda have to trial run it and do field research on myself. I also don’t know who I am If I’m not lesbian. It’s become too much of my identity. And then the idea of like being with someone and having to explain “oh yeah, I’ve I’ve been gay these past years” and then like i risk enabling this idea a shitty man who gets to brag about “turning people straight or bi”. LIKE RN ITS TOO OVERWHELMING. I’m like so aware this is not the intention of heated rivalry, but it is the impact. Also, should the idea of going on a date with a man make me feel physically ill with anxiety or is that just like anxiety?? Before I identified as a lesbian, I had this feeling as well towards men where like I could throw up if threatened with close proximity to a man. Like am I repulsed or just extremely nervous like a Chihuahua… all I know for sure is that I do like women.