At a standstill ..

My husband and I are both 30. We have been together 8 years, have 2 beautiful children. When its good, its great- but when its bad I just want to walk away. I know that sounds terrible, but when we get in our "funks" he has no respect for me at all, and says some terrible things. Then the next day, he expects me to just get over it, and doesn't want to talk about it. I feel like there is all this resentment adding up towards him. I admit I have a temper on me, but he constantly will overshoot it with just off the wall. For example, Ill say I really dont like when you blah blah, it makes me feel blah blah and instead of talking like adults, he will throw out a "guess im just the worst husband ever" or reverse it with a "well you do xyz" . Lately, hes been reaponding to me with "wow, you just ruined my day/week" or "guess you wanna fight all night" making it impossible to talk to him, and frankly, making me not even want to talk to him. Ive always loved coming home to him, but lately, I think if it weren't for the kids, I wouldn't even want to come home. I never what mood hes going to be in, and I know whatever I say or do is going to be met with hostility. I dont want to NOT be together, but I also cant stay like this forever.

Tl;dr how do I get him to have a real conversation with me?