Demoralization Even on the Brink of Destruction

I’m tired of going to work everyday as if masked agents aren’t abducting and murdering civilians. Still, the relentless barrage of demoralization - testing windows and staff meetings and observations and behavior contracts and parent outreach and grading and grading and grading and apathetic 8 year olds. Still, we pledge allegiance every morning (well, the intercom does…I abstain and my kids choose whether to recite or not).

This post is a shout into the void, I don’t know how to articulate exactly what I’m feeling. Mostly I’m fucking furious. Furious and numb and hungry for my district, admin, coworkers, coaches to be REAL. I have GAD and the dissonance between what’s happening and the uncanny status quo at work triggers derealization. I’m scared.