I (26F) just ended a relationship with my bf (25M) after grief, job loss, illness, and feeling emotionally unsupported - did I do the right thing?

I’m looking for outside perspective because the last few months have completely broken me and I don’t trust my own judgement anymore.

Over the past ~3 months, I’ve dealt with:

• My grandmother passing away
• Losing my job
• Ongoing health issues
• Financial stress
• A relationship that slowly became my biggest source of pain instead of support

During my grandmother’s death and the week before her funeral, I repeatedly told my partner that when I’m going through difficult times, I need initiative - checking in, asking how I am, emotional presence without me having to prompt it.

Instead:

• He often didn’t check in unless I brought it up.
• When I said I was hurt, he’d respond defensively or bring up his own issues rather than asking if I was okay.
• During my grandma’s funeral period, I felt like an afterthought - he left early, didn’t prioritise time with me, and I had to explicitly tell him to do basic supportive things.
• When I lost my job and my health declined, the pattern continued: apologies, but no real change.

What made it worse is that I did show up for him - checking in when he was struggling, supporting him with family issues, being emotionally available even when I was burnt out.

Every time I tried to explain this, it spiralled into long arguments where:

• I felt like I had to prove my pain with examples.
• He’d say he tried his best or didn’t realise.
• I’d end up more distressed than when I started.

Eventually I told him I didn’t want to live like this for the rest of my life - constantly explaining, begging for empathy, and feeling unsupported during grief. He responded with apologies and “I’ll always love you” type messages, but still didn’t actually ask how I was.

I finally ended it, but now I feel:

• Guilty for hurting someone who says they loved me
• Confused about whether I expected too much
• Terrified that I gave up when I should’ve tried harder
• Exhausted to the point where I genuinely don’t think I could’ve continued anyway

So my questions:

• Is it unreasonable to expect proactive emotional support from a partner during grief and loss?
• At what point does “they tried their best” stop being enough?
• Did I end something that was fixable, or did I stay too long hoping for change?

I’m not looking to bash him. I know he cared in his own way. I just need clarity on whether choosing myself here was the right thing.

Thanks if you read this far.

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TL;DR: In the last 3 months I lost my grandmother, my job, dealt with health + money stress, and felt emotionally unsupported by my partner despite repeatedly explaining what I needed. I ended the relationship but feel guilty and unsure if I expected too much or stayed too long.