My mom told me I better try harder to fix my marriage

F29 ready to leave M30. I confided in my (narcissistic) mother as she is the only person I have in my life, who says I owe it to my husband and my children to work through this so-called rough patch. What she doesn’t know is the extent of the damage he’s inflicted on all of us. I don’t want to be the one to inform her though, because he is still going to be very much in our lives. But goddamn it. I’ve dealt with being verbally berated I mean SCREAMED at for hours on end, my children have been spanked/hit too hard too may times, I’ve cried through silent “sex” that he forced onto me even though I said no. The world sees him as a family man who works hard and provides for us. And he does! Don’t get me wrong. But they don’t know that when he comes home, he doesn’t greet his family. He walks straight to the garage to get high first. They don’t know that if I try to speak in my home, he shushes me or insults me. They don’t know that I haven’t had a hug or held hands with him in 5 years. They don’t know that he tells our kids they’re annoying and to shut the fuck up. They don’t know how scared I am to leave because of his weapon collection he keeps secret. The damage he’s done is already irreparable and I’m not going to subject my children to any more. You would think that would be justification enough for my mom to just say “okay, I got your back”. But no. Prepared to do this fully alone with 3 kids under 10 since it’s clear I will have no support.