Eagle Union Football SSSSUPAAAAA WILDCARD WEEKEND: Days of Our AFC North
- Pasadena was so stressed in that bitterly fought Game. But the Los Angeles Rams won, and thus she and her Rams now face Chicago and Da Bears, at one point Pasadena nearly passed out, she now awaits the Curse Wheel to strike.
- North Carolina, Yorktown, and Laffey (Laffey and Yortktown II are in South Carolina) donning Tetairoa McMillan, Bryce Young, and Rico Dowdle Jersey respectively, are so proud of their team after taking a Rams Team that *On Paper* should be so much better than them to the goddamn wire. They hope to go deeper into the playoffs next year.
- Murmansk in her Aaron Rodgers Reebok Jersey is currently drinking through 50 gallons of Spotted Cow (Wisconsin Beer) after her Packers did it again and blew it against their Bitter Rivals in a 21-3 collapse to Da Bears. After the Game, Chicago was seen grating cheese over Murmansk's head
- Chicago was estatic to move on to the Divisional round and doing it again against the Packers makes it doubly as awesome, a cheese grater now sits on her Window Sill, as she is currently taking 3 hours out of her day to pray and bless Da Chicago Bears to win against Pasadena and her Rams She even recruited Richilieu and Saint Louis to help her Bears win. She also now wears what she calls "Pope Leo's Cheese Grater" It's one of those Cheese Grater Hats with either a White Skullcap or the Pope's crown attached on top.
- Intrepid, Buffalo, and Saratoga's Buffalo Bills won a bitter game against London and Belfast's Jaaaaags, now joined by Brooklyn after Cam Skattebo was injured a while back, They plan on beating Denver and Daisen's Denver Broncos in the Divisional Round, will Buffalo's playoff run continue or be trampled under the feet of Denver's suffocating Defense and Endless Umamusume Memes ?
- (I FORGOT LONDON CLAIMS THE JAAAAAGS) London and Belfast with their new NFL Team are happy about team progress, sure the Jaaaaaags were eliminated from the Playoffs, but at least they put up one hell of fight against Intrepid's Bills, They hope to be in the fight for the AFC South against the Texans and maybe Indy's Colts next Season.
- New Jersey: FUCK YOU KEVIN PATULLO, YOUR OFFENSE IS OFFENDING US FANS WITH HOW THAT OFFENSE WITH JALEN AND SAQUON AND GODDERT CONSISTENT CAN'T GET MUCH GOING IN THE SECOND HALF, AND YOU, ARTHUR JUAN BROWN, TALK THE TALK WHY DON'T YA, CAN'T EVEN WALK THE FUCKING WALK WHEN YOUR HANDS TURN INTO BRICK AND CAN'T CATCH THE BALLS YOU KEEP SAYING WILL CHANGE THE FUCKING GAME *hic* Vic Fangio and Defense I'm so sorry for this offense . . . as you can see Honey Bunny is on a drunken hate filled tirade against the Eagles after that loss against San Francisco's Injury Riddled 49ers. Lexington is enjoying this immensely unfortunately for them they still lose because their other rival is moving on.
- San Francisco was literally shaking in those final minutes after the 2 Interceptions from Brock, bouncing off the walls after that Trick play from Juan Jennings to CMC for the TD. But at what cost ? The niners lost George Kittle to a torn ACL during the game (cue San Francisco falling on her Knees screaming NOOOOOOOOOOOOO so loud the Submarines on patrol could hear her). And *Notification Ping* Oh, look Fred Warner's practice window opened up today. SF silently pumps her fist in excitement
- San Diego's Injury depleted Chargers fell to Massachusetts and Co.'s Patriots being the first to fall against this new First Order led by Drake Maye and Emperor Vrabel. Sandy's hope is that even if she lost that Defense put in WORK against Drake Maye, maybe next year when the Chargers aren't so injury riddled they could properly keep up with Denver and Daisen's Broncos in the AFC West
- Somehow the Patriots have returned, and Massachusetts, Quincy, Concord, and Bunker Hill, and Marblehead are beyond excited. Headed By Emperor Vrabel and Drake "Drake Maye" Maye. They eagerly await their Duel against Houston, The Strouds, and the Texans. "Prepare the Death Star" proclaims Empress Massachusetts, as the Massachusett girls proclaim GLORY TO THE PATS
- Houston, the Strouds, and the Texans were honored in giving the Pittsburgh their traditional first round exit after manhandling Aaron Rodgers and that Offense and slowly scoring more and more on that expensive defense. Now as they prepare to face the First Order Patriots with Massachusetts and Company. Can They land that Photon Torpedo and win or will they go like Alderaan and Lose ? NO MOON NO MOON NO MOON STROUD STROUD STROUD STROUD STROUD NO MOON NO MOON NO MOON NO MOON . . .
- Pittsburgh should be classified as insane for the Steelers when they keep doing the same First Round Exits and Pittsburgh Yinzing and Yinzing hoping for a trip to the Lombardi. She was dragged away from the Couch by Baltimore Crying and drinking away her sorrows again.
- Bonus Pittsburgh: Days of our Steeler: The Mike Tomlin Special, holy shit Mike Tomlin is gone, HOLY SHIT MIKE TOMLIN IS GONE, Pittsburgh thought it wouldn't happen, everyone thought it wouldn't happen even Pennslyvania. Pittsburgh is still making sure she still isn't drunk from last night, she is but this is real. Houston has also said "You're very welcome Pittsburgh" Baltimore is currently reminiscing about all the Harbaugh v. Tomlin Games including the 2008 AFC Championship which she is still mad about, Hu Pen can't believe Zac Taylor is the only one still standing in the North
- Pennsylvania is sad that neither of her teams are going to the Divisional Round while California still has 2 Teams in.
Posted Jan 14, 2026, 3:11 AM UTC
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