Small law firm rescinded my job offer after I asked for more time - did I dodge a bullet or mess this up?

I started a paralegal job 2 months ago at a small firm, but it turned out to be extremely toxic. They hired me as a “paralegal” but actually had me doing straight bullshit (working on their 12 year olds business for example). The partner would also yell at his wife in front of all of us which made me so uncomfortable and I was very underpaid.

After I quit, I started reaching out to other firms I knew about to see if they were hiring. One firm responded and I went in for an interview. During the interview, the partner made some negative comments about a current employee, which made me pause. Coming from such a toxic environment, I was hyper-sensitive to red flags and not looking to just jump at the first opportunity. But, the money was good ($52k vs $41k at my last job) and closer to home, so I didn’t write it off completely.

They sent me an offer email saying I had “until the end of the month” to decide. A few days later, I went to meet the team in person. The visit was fine, but at the end the partner said he was “waiting for a decision” - which seemed to contradict the original timeline.

That evening, I sent a follow-up email asking some questions before deciding: 1. Details about benefits package (health insurance, PTO, etc.) 2. Whether there’s any remote/hybrid flexibility 3. Whether they could accommodate my Friday prayer observance by extending lunch an extra 30 minutes on Fridays only. Im Muslim for context and never asked for this but religion is very important to me so figured I’d ask, wasn’t going to make my final decision based on this.

They responded only about the hourly rate and said basically “that’s the offer, take it or leave it” - completely ignoring all the questions. No mention of benefits, flexibility, or the religious accommodation.

I replied asking if I could have until the end of next week to decide. Honestly, I had other interviews scheduled that week (from when I’d been applying before getting this offer) and I wanted to complete those before making a decision.

A few days after, the partner sent back an email that was basically: “You clearly have doubts about this very generous offer. Your unwillingness to commit immediately shows you’re not the right fit for us. We’re withdrawing the offer. Good luck.”

The tone was pretty condescending and dismissive - like I’d personally offended him by not jumping at the opportunity immediately.

I’m really confused and upset because: ∙ The original email said end of month ∙ I asked basic questions that went completely unanswered ∙ They never even acknowledged the religious accommodation request ∙ I only asked for one more week ∙ The whole response felt punitive and aggressive

Now I’m questioning everything: 1. Is this normal? Do firms really rescind offers if you don’t accept immediately? 2. Was I wrong to ask those questions or request more time? 3. The fact that they ignored my religious accommodation request and then got defensive feels… off? Or am I reading too much into it? 4. Did I dodge a bullet (another toxic firm) or did I self-sabotage? 5. Should I have just ignored the red flags and accepted? 6. Am I being too picky after one bad experience?

I have another potential offer coming later this week from a different firm, but this situation has me spiraling. I feel like I can’t trust my judgment anymore - I’m either seeing red flags everywhere or missing them completely.

For those who have worked at small firms: Is this level of pressure normal? Should I only apply to bigger firms with actual HR departments? How do you know when you’re being appropriately cautious vs. self-sabotaging?

I really need some outside perspective because I’m starting to think the problem is me.