I dropped out of college and 😭

dropped out of college due to extreme anxiety and isolation. I was ragged by classmates, and the environment became overwhelming. I tried therapy multiple times, but it didn’t really help and sometimes made me feel worse. I also come from a verbally abusive, narcissistic family. At this point, marriage feels like the next option, but I honestly don’t feel capable of it. I don’t know how to do household chores properly, and I struggle a lot with communication. I can barely talk to people without shutting down, so the idea of marriage scares me too. I’m thinking of joining a nearby college in July for the same BBA, but I’m afraid because there’s ragging, it’s noisy, and I don’t have friends. I also feel very lazy and mentally shut down, and I’m scared I’ll fail again. I thought I wasn’t interested before, but now I’m curious about graphic, fashion, or interior design. However, I don’t have drawing or creative skills, and the fashion design option requires very long travel, which feels impossible with my anxiety. Because of all this, I feel completely stuck and overwhelmed. Lately, I’ve been feeling highly suicidal. I’m not looking to be judged — I genuinely don’t know what to do next. Any ideas or advice would really help.