Nanny mom unfriended me after asking nanny dad for reference

Hi, I will try to keep this as clear and brief as possible!

I did a nanny share for two couples in 2024. It was one of my favorite nanny jobs ever, loved the kids and felt like the parents really became my friends.

The share ended when one of the couples got their child into daycare. I still babysit for this family, I even work an admin position for the mom’s practice. After the job ended I became instagram friends with all four of the parents.

The other couple, let’s call them Hannah and Dan are about my age and we talked about how we’d love to get together and hang out etc etc. It never happened, life gets busy, understandable. Hannah and I also had a misunderstanding about a temp job she gave me a connect to, which I ended up not going for, but we cleared that up and all seemed well.

Fast forward a year. Last month I started looking for a new nanny job. I always give three references and each reference is from a separate family (as in I choose one parent).

I chose Dan to be one of those references. This is actually the first dad I’ve ever used because usually the moms have been the primary employers. In this job, Dan was just as involved with his child as Hannah which I think is so cool!

Hannah unfollowed me and removed me as a follower very shortly after.

My decision to only reach out to Dan was absolutely nothing personal to Hannah, I just thought it would be great to get a father’s perspective and seeing that I have many great families to reference, it would have seemed superfluous to use 2 of my 3 references as parents from the same child.

It didn’t even cross my mind that this would be an issue, but should I have just texted them together in a group chat and asked for them both to be on the phone?

I feel so heartbroken over this. And a little juvenile worrying about an Instagram follow! I know I get too attached to nanny kids and even sometimes parents when I felt I have made friends.

I’d appreciate any input. Should I reach out to Hannah?