Lost my dog to CHF, plagued with guilt.

What a brutal disease. He walked himself into the ER the day before for GI issues (his sisters also had blood in stool from something I gave them), I asked them to also check out the fluid in his lungs. The vet said if they did it, it’d only be a 10% relief that they didn’t want to do the procedure and cause him stress. Something happened and the vet called and said he developed super labored breathing that he didn’t have when we first went in.

I was sent home with at 6:15pm, he walked in the door but breathing was labored at that point. I gave it 24 hours until I caved and brought him back in. When we arrived they rushed him into triage and I was put into a room with two options, hospitalize which would get longer and more expensive due to it being his third CHF episode or lay him to rest.

About two hours later (I tried to buy myself time) and went home due to the exhaustion of the 24 hour time stamp she called and asked if I discussed with my partner. I returned and she really tried to convince me there was no saving him and it’d be better he go in peace.

I did everything. Drained my bank account. Abandon my business and started working from home. Oxygen tank, low sodium home cooked meals. Truly everything I could to keep him stable until exhaustion even though my boyfriend has been the defining enemy in helping provide a calm environment.

I asked the vet why didn’t they x ray the day before, why’d they leave him in an oxygen tank for several hours before addressing his gi issues.

I feel like if I didn’t take him 1/10, he wouldn’t of died the next day. I hate that vet for not doing her due diligence, placing him down the roster, and not doing a x ray.

I wish someone could say something helpful that it’s not my fault.

I never got him to the beach or his favorite park for years because I was always so nervous and uneducated around CHF while running a business. I never got the McDonald’s meal, although I happened to have a double cheeseburger in my fridge the same day he died but he refused to take the beef wrapped pills.