close to giving up.

i’m unable to find a med combo that works for me. i’m constantly depressed and paranoid when i’m off meds, and i’m always raging when im on meds. i can’t focus. i have adhd and bipolar. i feel like my psychiatrist is only in the field for a paycheck.. she often leaves my texts on read. i’m ruining my relationship with my girlfriend. i have no support system. i’m stuck and i can’t get out. i just want to feel normal.