We're gonna do it ➡️ it's so over ➡️ we're so back ➡️ it's over for real there's no way ➡️ we're so back ➡️ ITS OVE-

Waited to be put into wife's insurance on the next year before pursuing single-scar phallo, full of hope.

Months leading up to that left me to stew over fat % in thighs, dooming over cm and if it's even worth pursuing phallo with this surgeon (users said hes strict on getting 1-1.5cm when u pinch ur thigh).

Think it'll work if I try to lose fat, too stressed to eat and too stressed to make time to work out. Play games with others to dissociate because bottom dysphorias getting worse now that I'm trying to do something about it.

I think I pass the pinch test but I'm still unsure, would rather go to consultation and get a definite answer from the surgeon himself. Will be happy with a yes or no as long as I can ask questions, & know what my options are.

New year finally comes around and i call them to schedule it. First need to schedule a pre-consultation call. Waited a week for this. Turns out the surgeon doesn't take her insurance, and they stopped taking the insurance I was previously in. Feels like I wasted the past few months for nothing. Why did they not have a list of insurances they accepted? Why say you simply accept "most" insurances when you really don't?

Got a list of insurances they accepted, its a small handful, great. Working towards signing up for a low-income secondary insurance. Won't go into effect until the next month. Of for some reason this insurance doesn't work I will either have to pay a lot for a private insurance, or cut my hours to be eligible for medi-cal. Both would take time to go into effect and money would be lost in some way.

Bottom dysphoria and doom are in the forefront of my mind now. Having really stressful dreams about my genitals almost every night. Wake up with migraines most days.

Talked with the coordinator and let her know my plan wigh insurances, we get the consultation scheduled. It's 2 months away.

I bought the plane ticket.

Their new patient packet gives a timeline on the procedure, what surgeries are in line and how long recovery will be. I will have to fly over and stay in the area at least 2 times for a couple weeks.

It also contains a page showing the pinch test, where to pinch on a drawing, confirming it must be 1 to 1.5cm thick, and three real-life pictures to show what would pass and what wouldn’t; a 4cm pinch, a 2.5cm pinch, and a 1.5cm pinch. Looking at the pictures the 1.5 looks insanely tiny and impossible to get.

I'm starting to second guess myself again. I'm pinching my thighs over and over again.

My wife got a tape measure and says I'm 1cm. I don't know why but I don't believe it? I pinch my thigh and they look/feel so big. I look at the tape measure more and more and I'm slowly starting to understand I really have a shot at this.

Now I just have to wait- wait for insurance and wait for the consultation. I need to prepare a list of questions and pictures to show what I want. I need to figure out what I'm going to do for lodging and how to pay for it. I need to make sure I don't gain any significant weight or fat, I don’t want to fuck this up.

I'm really going to do it, i guess.