Caught in the middle of a 13-year friend group conflict (27/F, 27/F, 27/F)

Hi everyone, I’m looking for some outside perspective on a long-term friendship situation that’s been weighing on me.

I’m F/27, and I’ve been friends with this group of 7 people since high school (around 13 years). One of my closest friends in the group is Vowi (F/27). We were always especially close, and everyone in the group knew that.

Another friend in the group, Terry (F/27), has a complicated history with Vowi involving past romantic overlaps. Over the years, Vowi dated two people Terry had previously been involved with. These situations created a lot of tension and unresolved feelings within the group, even though things were never openly addressed as a group.

Because of this, the group dynamic slowly changed. It started to feel like the group was split into sides, and people in between (including me) didn’t really know where they stood.

For about the last 1.5 years, I noticed I was no longer being invited to hang out with five of them, including Terry. I assumed it was because I was very close to Vowi. I never openly chose sides, and I tried to stay neutral, but I still felt hurt and confused by the quiet distance. Over time, I felt emotionally exhausted and disappointed, especially because no one ever communicated this directly to me.

During that period, I mostly stayed close to Vowi. She shared a lot with me, and we spent time together one-on-one. Eventually, because of accumulated frustration and emotional fatigue, I reacted emotionally in a way I now regret instead of directly asking the group what was going on.

Later on, Terry asked me to be her bridesmaid, followed by a couple of other friends in the group. Through wedding-related events, I started spending time with them again.

On New Year’s, things shifted. Without me asking or pushing, conversations came up about unresolved issues with Vowi and their perspective on past events. I mostly listened. I learned that one reason I wasn’t invited before was because they assumed I was firmly on Vowi’s side. I also heard information that didn’t fully align with what I had previously been told, which left me feeling confused and overwhelmed.

Not long after that, Vowi completely distanced herself from me without explanation and blocked one of my social media accounts. This was especially painful because I genuinely believed we were very close, and there was no direct conversation or closure.

At this point, I feel like I’ve lost my closest friend and also don’t fully know where I stand with the rest of the group. I’m trying to understand how to process this emotionally and what a healthy next step might look like.

How do you move forward when you feel caught in the middle of long-term friendships, especially when communication breaks down on all sides?

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TL;DR

I’m F/27 and part of a friend group that’s been together for 13 years. Long-standing tension between two friends (F/27) created a split in the group. I was quietly excluded for 1.5 years because people assumed I was on one side. After reconnecting and hearing new perspectives, my closest friend suddenly cut me off without explanation. I’m feeling confused, hurt, and unsure how to move forward.