GF and I broke up. 2 weeks later and I’m starting to feel worst again

My girlfriend and I broke up on new years. Our relationship was about 10 months long. Even though it wasn’t long, it was still the best relationship I’ve ever had by miles.

She’s been having a lot of health issues that’ve been getting in the way of our relationship. She suffered a concussion pretty early in our relationship after we played on the playground at night. She also has ptsd and trauma. The combination didn’t help at all.

After about 5 months the intimacy left our relationship. She rarely wanted to cuddle or kiss. We rarely had sex, and when we did it just wasn’t the same. I still loved her and I wanted to help her through her hard times. I would constantly help her with chores and take her on dates. Looking back on it I was definitely carrying the relationship for the later half (5 months). Sometimes the lack of intimacy would get to me, but I still loved just hanging out with and being with her.

She started feeling guilty about this. She said she felt selfish and how she couldn’t reciprocate and that she just wanted me as a friend. It really hurts. I still love and care about her. And I thought I was handling everything pretty well. But after about 2 weeks after the break up, the sadness is coming back. I keep thinking back to when our relationship started and how amazing it was. She used to tell me how beautiful my eyes were and how bonita I was constantly.

However, when the intimacy left, she stopped saying all of that as well. The later half really just felt like a friendship, and it hurts thinking back on it. Especially when remembering how amazing everything was at first.

I still wish the best for her. She wants to still be friends, but I told her I need space and time to myself to process everything before I can do that. Otherwise I’ll just keep hurting more.

I thought I was handling everything well, but now I have this overwhelming sadness again after doing reflecting on our relationship. I just miss her so much. Even though our relationship was going downhill and there were no signs of it getting better. There were definitely plenty of issues, but I was just hoping it would get better if her concussion healed. I just still miss her so much. I rarely ever dream, but I keep having dreams of her. Sometimes we’re still together. Sometimes we’re trying to be friends and it makes me sad.

I just miss her so much and I know I just need time, but it kills me in the moment. I still just want her to be happy. I really wanted this relationship to workout and it kills me inside that it didn’t.