38 [M4F] #Ottawa or #EST Online. Fuck it. Let's fall in love.

Hello fellow adulterers, now that the holidays are over but the emptiness remains, I am back at it seeking a partner in crime. I've always tried to tell myself in the past that I will compartmentalize better, keep my emotions in check, yadda yadda. The truth is I can't. I am not wired that way so this time I am making it explicit. I am looking for someone I can eventually call my best friend and a lover.

I could start by writing down all my physical traits like ingredients for a recipe but we all know how wildly different things can be. I rather prefer that we exchange photos to see if my rather large nose is a big plus or a drawback. I have seen both reactions and am throughly amused every time.

I have realized that I can either be wildly boring or extremely amusing and it all depends on how well we hit it off. There is usually no middle ground. If you like men who are witty, can tell self depreciating jokes like it is no one's business, can pull your leg while being playful then I assure you we will have a good time.

Having said that I am not here just for the good vibes. I know life can be messy. No one is a cheerful dork all the time and I am here for it when things aren't going smoothly. I am a great listener and will never get bored of hearing you complain about the same thing for the 100th time. God knows I do it too.

What am I looking for is someone who can match my energy because I really have a lot to give. Be present, make me feel seen and heard and I assure you I will make you feel like a damn queen. On the flip side if you respond to my paragraph of text with a "lol", I will dip faster than Usain Bolt.

I have small children so I prefer that you should at least have children. It is not an absolute deal breaker but I generally find it easier to connect with a fellow parent. My preferred age range is 28-45 but if you fit every other criteria then I am flexible.

I have intentionally not mentioned any sexual kinks because let's be real, every guy on the internet is a "daddy dom". I am tired of hearing it as much as you are. I also think the sexual aspect should be more like a dessert and not the whole damn meal so let's build that foundation first before we jump into kinky talk.

If this sounds intriguing to you then start by telling me why you are a coffee or a tea or nothing person. I used to be a tea person but now I like my coffee black.

P.S. No MAGA. I only use snap or signal outside of reddit.