My inability to find success in writing has killed my love of reading. How do I reignite the spark?

It was my childhood dream to publish a novel. I went to school for creative writing. Over the last 15 years, I've written about a dozen first drafts, edited a couple of them, and my story is not where it needs to be. I feel I'm incapable of writing it successfully. I don't have the discipline to sit down and write every day. I don't think I have the drive to keep trying, I don't think I have the skills and the poetry in my soul to write as well as I want to. Truthfully, I think I've always been a mediocre writer and I didn't really realize it until now.

My frustration with myself has now also sapped away any joy I used to find in reading as well. My partner recently asked me "when's the last time you read something you actually enjoyed?" And it's been....a long time. I find myself jealous and bitter of other people's success, even more so when I read something that feels like a 16-year old wrote it and face the fact that that author was still able to find someone to publish them.

I know I'm burnt out. It's been about two years since the last time I wrote significantly. I'm not sure if I'll ever be able to bring myself to try again, and every day i dont puts me further from the goal.

How do you cope with realizing that it's just not going to happen for you? Is it possible for me to find the spark again?