I’m fed up with patient care and don’t know what else to do with my career

Hi, I’m at my wits end and wanted to seek advice. I’ve been a nurse since March of 2022. I’ve done L&D, NICU, post partum. I’ve only ever been interested in women’s health because quite frankly, I don’t want to take care of men. Well the other day after leaving work I got home and cried in the shower. I think I am totally burnt out with bedside nursing and I don’t know what else to do with my career. I can’t say that the job has been all bad. I’ve saved and made lots of money, paid off my student loans, and have helped bring babies earth side and seen babies as small as 1.5 pounds graduate from the NICU. But it doesn’t bring me joy anymore. I find it hard to say congratulations to a new mother and mean it.

I’m at a lost of what else to do. I don’t want to switch specialties. I don’t want to go back to school to become an NP and deal with more responsibility and more patients. I don’t want to do outpatient. I would be happy to never see or touch a patient again in my life. My license was set to expire at the end of the month and for a split second I thought about letting it expire permanently, but then I was like well I still need a job to make money. Apart of me also feels guilty because this is apparently one of the worst job markets (according to friends who work corporate, tech, IT and have been laid off) so I should be happy to have a job that I’m paid every week. But it’s just not enough for me anymore. I don’t feel challenged. I move a little slower for my new admissions. I’m just over it.

I don’t know what else to do with this degree. People always say “there’s so many routes in nursing”! Well, what are they and why are they so hard to get to? Why didn’t anyone in my nursing school educate us about these other positions and lead us straight to bedside? I’ve applied for jobs in Pharma and constantly get denied and if I do get an interview the first question Is “why leave patient care” and I have to clutch my hands together to prevent myself from balling my fists up into rage from such a ludicrous question. I feel like I’m in handcuffs with this degree.

Any advice, motivation, or leads on jobs would be appreciated.

-An RN who wants more for her career